Holler, Shut, Too Foofie

When some people speak, my children become confused. My children because confused when some people speak.

Some people confuse my children when they speak, especially Nicolas. Do we speak unclear? Is our speaking unclear? Is it unclear when we speak? Do we speak unclearly? ("Unclearly" just looks wrong and sounds wrong, doesn't it?) None of this is clear. It's unclear. Our talking, that is. Or is it our speaking? BLA!

Nick often interprets things as he hears them - which is, as they are said, which is very literally. It's not necessarily wrong, it's just that in today's world, we rarely say what we mean. Or do we rarely mean what we say? Yeah - that's it! Jargon, slang, text messaging, IM-ing, etc. - these have all replaced proper grammar. Does this mean we are now "improper"?

Our kids all have a humorous side and Nicolas can have a great sense of humor... and I often have to make a joke out of what he is upset about or point out the humor in the situation that is causing him distress. Generally speaking, people who are sarcastic do not earn Nick's trust. I can understand why he has that hesitation

.

Here's a few things that I try not to say, that I can think of off the top of my head:

Ha - that was one.

1. Off the top of my head...
2. You're pulling my leg...
3. You're kidding me...
4. No kidding?
5. Well, that's just great...
6. Oh wonderful!
7. Oh joy...
8. Goodie.
9. I just can't wrap my head around it...

And, for some silliness...

Antelope - to run off with your mother’s sister, running away to marry your aunt
Boomerang - what you say to frighten a meringue pie "boom"
Pasteurize- too far to see, past what your eyes can see

For more than 20 years, columnist Bob Levey of The Washington Post has been inviting readers to submit new definitions for pre-existing words.

Some memorable contributions:
Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Population (n.), that nice sensation you get when drinking soda.
Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam. (Sorry, I couldn't resist...)

And who could forget about homophones! Homophones - we love learning about these in our homeschooling adventures and they fit right in to our chaos. For example:

• The noun meat (edible flesh) and the verb meet (to come together).
• The noun peace (freedom from chaos) and the noun piece (a part of a larger thing, such as pecan pie or cheesecake!).
• Bee - bumblee, be, the 2nd letter of the alphabet, the letter "B"
• See, sea and the letter “C”

I say a couple of goofy things too…

• Foofie or too foofie: When something is just a bit too much, not quite the right look, it's foofie, in a negative fashion sense
• Oogie - something yucky or icky

And if someone is yelling and I want them to stop, I tell them to “quit hollering!” Holler? What exactly is holler? If you want to know, go to the urban dictionary.

• Shut - this one is my pet peeve! I don't like it when Hubs says, "Shut the door!". I ask him if he would like me to close the door... he doesn't usually think it is as hilarious as I do though.

And, I found some of these online and shared them with Nicolas, just so he could have another good laugh. He sure was big-eyed for some of them!

Doctor's office, Rome:
Specialist in women and other diseases.

Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:
Cooles and heates: If you want condition of warm air in your room, please control yourself.

Car rental brochure, Tokyo:
When passenger of foot have in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigour.

On the grounds of a private school:
No trespassing without permission.

In a cemetery:
Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.

Hotel elevator, Paris:
Please leave your values at the front desk.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

A laundry in Rome:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.